It’s always a good idea to check on the people around us, especially those having a difficult time.
When someone has cancer, it can be hard to know what to say or do.
We’ve got some helpful advice on how to support and talk to someone with cancer.
Here’s a will help you start a kind conversation and show that you care.
Helpful tips for speaking to someone with cancer:
Let them know you’re willing to listen
Let them know you’re willing to listen, because sometimes a caring listener is what they need most.
Ask “Do you want to share what’s going on for you today?”
From time to time throughout their treatment and recovery, ask the person how they are feeling. There isn’t usually a perfect time, so simply ask when you feel is best.
Invite them places
Keep them in the loop and invite them out but let them know it’s okay to decline if they’re not up for it.
Show you care
Little gestures like sending a card, dropping off a meal, or checking if they’re up for a visit can make a big difference.
Keep it normal
If hugs and hand-holding were part of your relationship before, keep doing them. Treat them as you always have.
Respect their terms
They might not like labels like “sufferer” or “survivor.” Follow their lead on how they refer to their situation.
Talk about other things too
Although it’s important to ask how they’re feeling, it’s okay to chat about other things happening in both of your lives.
Things to avoid when speaking to someone with cancer:
Giving unrealistic reassurances
Saying “don’t worry” or “stay positive” can come off as dismissive. Of course, they may worry and so might you.
Offering advice
They’ll be making decisions with their medical team.
Don’t compare stories
Everyone’s cancer journey is different. Instead of sharing stories of others, focus on their experience.
Avoid probing questions
Depending on your relationship, the person may not want to tell you about something personal (e.g. their prognosis).
Be mindful of observations
Comments like “you’ve lost weight” or “you don’t look sick” might not be helpful.
Treat them normally
Talk to them like you always have, look them in the eye and talk in a normal voice.
