It has been a year since nurse Ailsa Millewski passed away peacefully in the Mater palliative care unit where she once worked, but the legacy of her care has not faded.
Ailsa joined Mater Private Hospital Mackay in 2010, working in the maternity team and coordinating the hospital’s Health Hearing Program.
She made a positive impact on her patients and colleagues from the very beginning.
“People said that when Ailsa smiled, it wasn’t just a smile. She smiled with her whole face,” her husband Gary Millewski recalled.
“She loved working with the babies and young children.
“Whether these children and parents remember her or not, she had made a real difference.
“The ENT specialist who she worked closely with, Dr Luke Reid, said she was special for the patients – her presence alone would calm them.”
Ailsa worked across many areas of the hospital, but felt a special draw to the Palliative Care Unit on St Catherine’s ward.
The unit has grown over the past 30 years to provide holistic support to patients experiencing life-limiting illness.
Ailsa soon became close friends with fellow Palliative Care Nurse, Miechelle Williams, who said she had ‘fallen into’ this demanding and specialised field of nursing.
“I graduated from university a few months after all of my friends, and one of the areas that became available to me straight away in Townsville was an introduction to oncology and palliative care nursing through Queensland Health,” Ms Williams said.
“That was the first time I actually experienced caring for a patient from their diagnosis all the way through to end of life.
“I was still relatively new to Mackay when I met Ailsa. From the get go, I just thought, ‘This is an extremely lovely person.’ You knew if she was on shift with you, it wouldn’t feel like work.”
Miechelle and Ailsa grew closer when Ailsa was part of the nursing team who cared for Miechelle’s husband Warren when he was in Palliative Care Unit. Warren passed in 2018.
“It was only two and a half years from the time of my husband’s diagnosis to his passing,” Miechelle said.
“In that time, everything about my kids’ lives was disrupted – but once he was in Palliative Care here at Mater, Ailsa just brought that extra little bit of compassion.
“She was so nice, and so softly spoken, and my 12 and 14-year-olds at the time just connected with her on an extra level because of not only the care she was giving their dad, but how she was there for all of us.”
Last year roles were reversed when Ailsa was admitted as a patient in Mater’s Palliative Care Unit.
“Ailsa had fond memories working with Miechelle right up until she took ill – she first showed symptoms that something was wrong in 2021,” Gary said.
“She was always an amazing cook so the first I noticed something was wrong was one night when she was cooking a chicken stir-fry and she came out to me and said ‘Gary, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.’
“It took until the end of the year to work out that Ailsa had developed a tumour in her adrenal glands which we had removed in Townsville – but a biopsy and PET scan revealed it was already a stage 3 carcinoma and had spread to her spine.
“She opted not to have chemo and wanted to pass away at home.
“I cared for her at home, bought all the equipment, but didn’t want to be the one to tell her that it was getting too much for me.
“She could see though. I just couldn’t do that last bit – our GP had been doing home visits and we went into him one day. He visited her and she said to him, ‘I think I’ll have to go across the road to the Mater.’
“He said, ‘I guess you’ll want the penthouse,’ and she said, ‘Yes, room 116.’
“The first time I laid eyes on Ailsa was 12 September 1984. On 12 September 2023, she was admitted to Palliative Care.”
Miechelle cared for Ailsa throughout her admission.
“Caring for Ailsa at the end was difficult because this was a colleague I had worked with, but it was also such a beautiful experience to be able to support her and her family like she had done for me and my family previously,” Miechelle said.
“The night of her passing, Gary and their daughter were both there and it all just felt like it happened at the right time for everyone.”
“Miechelle didn’t have to say anything in those final moments, just her presence there with us was fantastic,” Gary said.
“Ailsa’s wish was that she didn’t want anyone else to be with her when she passed, only me – and it turned out that, at five to two in the morning, our daughters were dozing off to sleep, I was holding Ailsa’s hand, and I just said, ‘I think she’s taken her last breath.’
“She had – and it was just the two of us.”
Gary shared Miechelle’s appreciation for the staff, saying Ailsa was provided with the same care she had given to countless other patients over the years.
“The feeling whenever you are at the Mater is always different to other places. It is so personal and you never feel like a number; you know every person is there for you and nowhere more so than with the palliative care team,” he said.
“The important part, from my perspective, is to have that assurance and feeling that the people caring for Ailsa understood the situation and supported her just as much as they were there for me and my family.
“Ailsa had always said ‘Gaz, don’t be sad because dying is just as much a part of life as living.’
She said it’s such a privilege to see a baby born, but also a privilege to be able to support a patient at the other end of their care too.”
Echoing Ailsa’s thoughts, Miechelle said she believes the care the team provides is just as much for loved ones as it is for patients.
“We had a cry with Ailsa’s family, but we also laughed too,” she said.
“It’s a time where you do just have to take the good with the bad.
“I’ll always happily remember Ailsa and the impact she has had on my life will remain with me for a very long time.
Feature image: Aisla’s husband Gary Millewski and Palliative Care Nurse, Miechelle Williams
Inset: Aisla Millewski pictued while working at Mater Private Hospital Mackay.
