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Your partner bullies you

Bullying in a relationship can include accusations, criticism, telling the victim how to dress and how they should look or being blamed for everything wrong in the relationship. Victims may feel as though they are walking on eggshells and cannot disagree with their abuser.

You feel cut off from family and friends

Since the relationship began, the victim feels their other relationships have suffered. They may feel isolated or that they no longer engage or connect with people they were once close to.

Ways abusers isolate their victims include ensuring they ask permission before socialising, keeping tabs on their movements, controlling their social media activity or speaking poorly of their family and friends to try and influence them to feel the same.

The relationship escalated quickly

Abusers often use a tactic known as love bombing to ensure the victim feels dependent and obligated to them.

Love bombing can include excessive attention, texts, calls, admiration and affection and often makes the victim feel special, loved and valuable. Love bombing ensures the abuser has control over the victim’s emotions and mind and serves as a starting point for manipulation and the cycle of abuse.

Threats to harm themselves, you, others or pets

Abusers may threaten the lives of others or themselves as a tactic to gain control over the victim and their actions.

These threats often leave the victim feeling helpless and afraid, resulting in the abuser regaining control.

Property damage and physical violence

The most recognisable signs of an abusive relationship are physical violence and property damage which are serious signs a victim’s safety is at risk.

The abuser normalises violent behaviour like damaging phones to stop the victim calling for help, punching holes in walls out of rage and assault.

Your partner controls you

Abusers often exert control over the victim’s behaviour and decisions. They may dictate who the victim can be friends with, what they wear, how they spend money or prevent them from practicing their religion.

You feel confused about the relationship

Abusers often use the cycle of abuse to manipulate the feelings of the victim to ensure they remain in the relationship. Victims often feel a rollercoaster of emotions both during and after the relationship.

The constant highs and lows create an environment of insecurity for the victim and can impact their ability to speak up for themselves.

Townsville Domestic Family Violence & Vulnerable Persons Unit Officer in Charge Acting Sergeant Kallan Drury said it’s important people know there are many forms of domestic and family violence, not just physical abuse.

“These are just some of the signs of domestic violence.

“We want to raise awareness about domestic violence in the community and educate people on how to recognise the behaviours and some of the risk factors.

“Abuse comes in many forms, and most often includes the perpetrator isolating the victim from family and friends to better control the victim without interference.

“If the victim believe domestic violence is only physical abuse, they may feel something is wrong in their relationship but may not think it’s domestic violence.

“Every relationship is different. Please seek help if you believe you are experiencing domestic violence,” Acting Sergeant Drury said.